It's a personal journal.

For those having geektastic sex...

2008-08-22T23:36:34Z

I dare you to pull this one off:

http://somethingpositive.net/sp01102002.shtml

(Reading through the old S*P archives)

Later this week? ahem

2008-08-20T01:42:39Z

third day with the cold... hoping I don't get smashed back to back! I might just take tomorrow of work at this pace.

I like Condoleezza Rice.

2008-08-20T00:46:55Z

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Au0O2q7f31Frw2nRYET5SdvQ1Zl4?slug=ap-rice-olympics&prov=ap&type=lgns

Who do you think is taking up the slack while Bush goes on Vacation? I know, not the most ringing endorsement of competence, but I look at her every time she talks and I see someone who is incredibly competent and afraid to fail, knowing that going against the president would likely be the end of her public career - and make no mistake, I see someone who wants to be president. (See Colin Powell as an example of being churned out of the party: http://www.slate.com/id/2095756/ )

I disagree with many of her stated positions, but I just wish we'd be seeing her in a position that would allow her to shine.
___

Speaking of competent people. I remember when John McCain was. :) http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/08/was-mccain-tort.html

This man voted against a bill that would forbid the same things that happened to him. I just wish a journalist would grill him on this.. or anything!

For that matter, I just want Obama and McCain to be forced into a locked room with a British Journalist and a camera for one hour. I want to see them actually challenged on their beliefs. *sigh*

(I must be sick. Usually I avoid posting on politics. :)

Meem tiem.

2008-08-17T03:29:15Z

On an unrelated note, the bf come home safe and sound, but a little sick. I'll worry about being sick later this week. :/ -- but I feel so much better with him around. :) -- I remember being such an independant person, now I'm just this dependant mess, heh.

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPC - The Daydreamer

Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Color

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

Comforting news!

2008-08-15T17:15:24Z

Comforting news from Tim LaHaye: Obama is (likely) not the antichrist! http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/371367426.html

CAROL STREAM, Ill., Aug. 8 /Christian Newswire/ -- John McCain's campaign ad "The One" has generated a lot of buzz regarding the "Left Behind Series." Political commentators are comparing McCain's portrayal of competitor Barack Obama with the blockbuster apocalyptic series' depiction of the antichrist. But even the series authors Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins don't think Obama is the antichrist. What may have been created as a farce has generated a firestorm of controversy on the internet.

LaHaye and Jenkins take a literal interpretation of prophecies found in the Book of Revelation. They believe the antichrist will surface on the world stage at some point, but neither see Obama in that role. "I've gotten a lot of questions the last few weeks asking if Obama is the antichrist," says novelist Jenkins. "I tell everyone that I don't think the antichrist will come out of politics, especially American politics."

Hope that makes everyone feel better.

On a related note, there are 16 of those books now?

11 days...

2008-08-04T19:52:12Z

11 days to get the house cleaned. 11 days to get the laundry 100% done.
11 days to miss someone intensely.
11 days to work on the projects I said I was going to through the summer.
11 days to check mail obsessively at work.
11 days to practice singing where noone's around.
11 days to wake up early in the chance to talk voice.
11 days to idly watch TV, all those horrible shows you'd never admit to liking.
11 days to have no reason to look forward to going home from work.
11 days to listen to my own music as loud as I want.
11 days to skip - or at least, wish I could skip.

hugs to all

2008-07-29T23:15:55Z

Because I think a lot of people need hugs today. :)

(I could use one or three - I'm back into semi-radio silence mode with my bf, as he's going back to the house that has no internet connection. And he's out of minutes and he has to find somewhere to buy them. I'm hoping for 20 minutes a day right now for talk time, and sometimes it might be just a text and back.)

I'm fine now. Luckily I'll be out of town this weekend with a friend, so it's just the next few days.

Insomnia is back.

2008-07-23T15:24:55Z

3.5 hours. Not sure how I'm going to make it today... I'll probably try and take a nap at some point today... maybe knock back some benadryl at 8:00 so I can wake up early. I feel like such a druggie, I avoided sleeping pills for 29 years and *now* I can't sleep?

Some interesting tips from someone at Clarion right now.

2008-07-17T16:29:06Z

theferrett Is at clarion. It is making me jealous and write a bit more than I am. He's been laying out the gems, many of them simple, seemingly obvious advice that I (for one) needed restated to click. :)

New quiz.... via Moon_fox

2008-07-12T04:28:59Z

It's pretty accurate.

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Cuddleslut

26% Anxiety Over Abandonment and 19% Avoidance Of Intimacy

You're mostly secure, but sometimes you need a little extra reassurance to make it through the tough times. You are usually affectionate and sweet, and you find it easy to fall in love. An encouraging word from a crush or a loved one can motivate you for weeks.

Fictional character with whom you might identify: Kaylee (Firefly/Serenity), Hiro Nakamura (Heroes)

Other Attachment Types:
Secure:	The Unicorn	\|	The Cuddleslut	\|	The Free Agent
Preoccupied:	The Cling Wrap	\|	The Squid	\|	The Insect
Fearful:	The Doormat	\|	The Leper	\|	The Exile
Dismissing:	The Hermit	\|	The Stone	\|	The Player
Confused:	The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Two things...

2008-07-09T08:29:14Z

First, http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1124883.html -- he's at Clarion, and great nuggets of writing advice are flowing every time he has a chance to write - but this is some great stuff on revision.

But this has inspired me to write again. What I really enjoyed about writing. Just have to get past that sucktitude and that 8-9 years more practice to get great at it. :)

Second, I'm writing again, but perhaps some of my best writing ever (or maybe my worst) is what you'll never see - love letters. For those of you on the list who write, try reading a couple, then writing one that doesn't sound overly selfish. That was the weirdest thing I noticed when I started reading other love letters - they all sound so incredibly self-centered!

The classic ones were just as self-centered. Though I loved this piece from Franz Kafka to Felice Bauer:

Fräulein Felice!

I am now going to ask you a favor which sounds quite crazy, and which I should regard as such, were I the one to receive the letter. It is also the very greatest test that even the kindest person could be put to. Well, this is it:

Write to me only once a week, so that your letter arrives on Sunday—for I cannot endure your daily letters, I am incapable of enduring them. For instance, I answer one of your letters, then lie in bed in apparent calm, but my heart beats through my entire body and is conscious only of you. I belong to you; there is really no other way of expressing it, and that is not strong enough. But for this very reason I don’t want to know what you are wearing; it confuses me so much that I cannot deal with life; and that’s why I don’t want to know that you are fond of me. If I did, how could I, fool that I am, go on sitting in my office, or here at home, instead of leaping onto a train with my eyes shut and opening them only when I am with you?...

What I find odd is that the passive voice isn't used more often to minimize this.

If I don't get a short story out by the end of this period, or at least a good second draft, at least I will be further along the way to writing a love letter. :)

Talked to the bf today...

2008-07-04T17:54:31Z

I'm feeling a lot better. :)

However, he was in a noisy place, and the phone he has very poor speaking quality, so I was sticking my finger in my ear to hear even though there was no noise on my end. :)

He's having a lot of fun, that's the best I can hope. :)

Quick clarification.

2008-07-01T17:12:03Z

I'm actually doing quite well right now. Other than being a little sad that my partner is leaving for a month and a half, I'm in a good place. I just stop being in such a good place when I try writing for the blog or really delving into a character in turmoil. I have trouble leaving.

This project is going to be on top of rededicating myself to working out, which I've been doing pretty well for a few months now except that noone can really tell. :) -- This last month has been a little letdown, but I'm going to get back to it full fledged.

ibsulon @ 2008-06-30T14:22:00

2008-06-30T21:44:27Z

Most anyone who's actually reading this knows that my boyfriend is leaving for six weeks. So, I have plenty of time to myself to start thinking about a project. I'm not quite sure what yet, and that's what I bring to you. I've always had issues with sticking to one thing, as most undisciplined people are. I like starting, rather than finishing.

Originally, I was going to work on the depression blog project, but every time I start working on that, I get depressed. The first few times, I thought it was just coincidence, but I realize it's the mindset that I have to go into to think about what I'm writing. I've discovered part of the secret to happiness for me, and that's thinking about good stuff. I want to help and share my knowledge, but I'm just not strong enough to do it yet.

For example, this is a little piece of my notes.

Eric's rules of depression: (modified and condensed for purposes here.)

1. Sometimes your life really does suck. Depression is what's telling you to change something. If you weren't depressed, you'd probably stay in the same situation. Some of us are just pickier than others, and others of us don't have the ability to change.

2. Anger isn't bad. Sometimes, depression is because you're not willing to be angry. Depression is because you're not willing to let yourself be sad. (It sounds weird, doesn't it?) The problem with not letting yourself be angry is that anger is a great motivational tool. It helps you get out of those positions that keep you depressed.

3. Sometimes, depression is just fucking genetic. Sucks for those of us. However, most of us can make it better, even if we can't completely cure it.

4. Sometimes, our lives aren't any better or worse than anyone else's, but we gotta just allow ourselves to look away from bad things and look at happy things. Turn off the news, turn on lolcats.
    4a. That means looking at the things that are good in our lives. That means stupid little lists of counting our blessings and thinking about how much our lives don't suck.

5. Worrying about the world's problems don't make em any better. Ignore them or do something about it.
    4b. Sometimes that even means turning off our empathic reactions. Yeah, really. Selfish people are happier. People who only care about their friends are happier. Mother Theresa was miserable.
        4b1) This does not bode well for our society.
        4b2) If you don't want to take this advice, volunteer for something. It will make you feel better exercising that empathic response rather than bottling it up. Either do something with it or kill it. In between and you'll be miserable.

6. Stop beating yourself up for being average.

That made me a little sad. I can't get over my empathic responses, and I can't get over 5 and 6 myself. But this is at least ten page fairly controversial articles and I'd have to really back things up with studies and logic and such. That means I'd have to think hard about dark stuff. That makes me depressed right now.

So I hope someday I'll be better enough to do so. Right now, I'm not.

So, that means another project. :) -- I considered a 6 week first draft of a novel, and I have a outline just waiting for me, except that it again means that I have to delve into my emotional well. I think this is currently my biggest block to writing -- I just can't reach it without it affecting the rest of my life. (I guess I could write porn...)

So I was thinking of picking back up the guitar or learning to sing, or perhaps another project. Who has ideas? Alternatively, those of you who have depression and write, how do you avoid it from taking over your life?

Three things meme...

2008-06-26T21:56:30Z

Via afraclose
* Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody else on your friends list has done.

* See if anybody else responds with "I've done that." If they have, you need to add another!(2.b., 2.c., etc...)

* Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.

I'm trying to avoid the ones that would squick people out (IE, the wide range of sexual conquests) -- that narrows things down to the rather boring. (What can I say? I was a slut for a period in my life!)

1) Made an alcoholic meal. I'm not talking a little wine splashed in something here folks, I made people genuinely tipsy with the meal, and people still ask for me to make a variation on my heavy vodka sauce for parties.

2) A member of a message community was in the process of attempting suicide via pills. Other people, off of a peculiar last name, tracked down a list of potential relatives, but they were either at work or not in a position to call. They gave the numbers to me, being a moderator on the board. So, I called a random person across the country to tell them that their (it turns out) nephew (whom I have never met in person) had attempted suicide.

3) Won a poker tournament with over 250 entrants.

Anyone? Bueller?

Broadway Hero!

2008-06-23T16:43:54Z

http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1117564.html

Someone put a lot of thought into this.

For those with kids...

2008-06-19T05:36:15Z

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4g8w_rwOT0Q&feature=related

More importantly, marriage is not waking up in the middle of the night...

2008-06-16T23:24:38Z

with a nightmare that your husband or wife has been deported because of some paperwork detail. (It's still possible, but much less likely.)


Marriage is love.

Wow, this is where Cat lives?

2008-05-29T18:37:09Z

http://www.bakersfield.com/hourly_news/story/456451.html

Apparently, there's a car dealership that had radio ads that told non-Christians to "sit down and shut up." -- the dealer "regrets" the ads now...

sigh.

Ira Glass on storytelling

2008-05-24T23:40:02Z

He's speaking on the taste <-> creative ability gap, something all my writer friends have experienced.

Some, like Amelia June and Moon Fox, are better at not quitting than the rest of us. :D That's why their work is consistantly getting better and they're on their way to a major book contract.

It still doesn't explain Dan Brown.

Missing my bf, but...

2008-05-10T20:01:19Z

My boyfriend is at a conference in chicago this weekend, and I was bored last night when I realized something.

I used to go out by myself, I can do it now!

So, I went to plush and saw a few decent bands. It was a cheap show, but pretty fun. (So were the drinks.) But I realized that I really don't have many friends left that I could call up and say, "let's go out!"

Most of them have their own partners (boyfriends and girlfriends) or have moved out of the city. It's more that I haven't replaced the hang-out friends I have. Those who are still here aren't the type to go out mostly, either due to money or temperament.

Most of my acquantances, now, are my boyfriends' friends, and none are the type that I'd really call up myself and look to go out with. (Well, one might end up that way!) I'm wondering if this is just a function of being a couple (and him being the one who has more social opportunities), if this is a function of me not being a social type in general (I keep my friends for quite a while, really.) - or is it me just not asserting my individuality and leaning on my boyfriend as a social crutch?

Muh burtdah.

2008-03-29T16:55:19Z

It's my very special birthday,
And all I have to say
Is I love fruity pebbles
In a very special way. HEY!

Is it really so bad? ("The sad truth about relationships")

2008-03-20T01:05:19Z

The Sad Truth About Relationships

Happy Pi Day!

2008-03-14T23:09:21Z

And on a non-pi note, http://baconbreath.deluxecode.com/wovenbacon.jpg

So, we're a generation of spoiled brats?

2008-03-02T18:36:27Z

Again, just a half-cooked thought since I don't want to spend three hours writing this. :)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/28/AR2008022803315.html?hpid=topnews

It reminds me of the old drug commercial: